rituals

At meal time, we always head to the same spots around the table, like goats in a barn. My father's stall was directly across the table from me. It seemed each evening, that a combination of weariness and bad manners would contribute to a shift in my centre of gravity. Slowly and inevitably my feet would extend under the table beyond my personal territory into his. A meal wasn't complete without my toes tapping his and his mock surprise and horror causing us all to laugh. The daily rituals of life shared are a comfort, grateful memory a gift.

starting small

One year, my husband gave me Water Color classes as a gift. The instructor was a school teacher who had an alternate life as a painter. She had accumulated a cluster of devoted followers, who gathered to paint with her, and I felt awed to be able to "watch and learn." Her method of teaching was really not unlike the process of osmosis. Put someone thirsty to learn beside someone plying a brush, and nature will take its course. Amazingly, it seemed to work.
The other women in the class were comfortable, confident returning pupils. I was a timid beginner.
They took full sheets of water color paper and splashed paint and water on with reckless abandon.
I took little rectangles and squares of water color paper and hunched over the table, my brush in a death grip.
They were thinking big.

I was starting small.

suddenly silenced

My mothers has always thought "green." Unfortunately, fruit flies think green as well, and they had gained a toe hold in the ecology of her kitchen. She appealed for help, and I consulted the source of all information, the Internet. There we found not only information on fruit fly traps, but also several methods of catch and release. Catch and release!? For a fruit fly??!!!
I've practiced catch and release while fishing. We use the term as a euphemism for fish that shake the hook free when they spot our boat.
Mind you, I once caught and released a mouse, and I have to admit, spiders and bumble bees have been spared, and lived to see another day.
My husband once made the mistake of stepping on an ant while my grandson was with him. I rushed out to sobs. "It was my favorite ant," the little boy offered by way of explanation.
There's a scene in Star Wars. A planet has been obliterated, and a Jedi, sensing tragedy says ominously, "It's like a great many voices cried out in terror before being suddenly silenced..." This is how I sometimes view the insect world. I wish fruit flies no ill, I just wish they weren't in my mother's kitchen.

comfort

My grandson is a very sociable fellow. I suppose this is why he loves to visit in the kitchen while I cook and sometimes helps out. He likes to pretend to be Chef Pig.
More than a year ago, I had been surrounded by bowls and spatulas. As I poured and strained, liquid suddenly overflowed and rushed over the counters edge and onto the floor. "Oh no," I moaned. There was a gasp from my grandson."What happened Grama," he cried, rushing to my side. "This has spilled, see," I sighed. "And now I've made a big mess on the floor." As I crouched to mop up the mess, he crouched right along side me til we were nose to nose. "These things happen," he said kindly. "It was just a little mistake," he added soothingly. He had obviously heard these words himself, offered as comfort, and he was able to give them as a gift to me.
It's one of the blessings of trouble, to be able to,"comfort another with the comfort that we ourselves have received." II Cor. 1:4

holding my breath

I've been looking forward to renewing my driver's license. It's worth $75.00 to get rid of my mug shot. Or mugged shot. A bad hair day, the mandatory no smile policy and my own lack of photographic charm had conspired to give me the haunted look of a homeless woman with a criminal past. I was determined to raise the bar. 

I hadn't counted on the Deli affect.
Halvah for my husband was on my Christmas list, and what better place to get it than a German Deli. A quick detour on the way to the Motor Vehicle Branch couldn't go wrong I thought. Into Doris' Deli I bounded.
The glass fronted cases held every imaginable, indigestible delicacy. Wonderful worst, lovely liver sausage, the sweet, the spicy; Cheeses and chocolates. Pyramids of fruited cakes and crisp cookies towered over marzipan animals. The rare, the exotic, the imported, the foil wrapped, it was all there in dazzling variety.
I found my thoughts turning to my father. He loved those kinds of treats. As age and health limited the things he could do and enjoy, edible treats became a favorite gift.
I felt a longing to see my father's eyes shining with pleasure again.
I knew a growing desire to tell someone, anyone, that my father would not be here for Christmas this year. I quickly made my purchase and dashed out to my car with the sweet notes of a German Carol clinging to my heart.
I cried so hard I had to mop up the tears at the next red light. And the next one too.
I pulled into the Motor Vehicle Branch with red puffy eyes and a pink nose.
Fortunately, there was the usual wait. Waiting and watching can be a very pleasant way to pass time and I found myself recovering.
I eventually stood on the orange spot on the floor and stared benignly at the camera, although pleasantly and with an aura of mustered dignity I hope. In a week I'll know for sure. I'm holding my breath.

won't they be cold now?

My brother raised a flock of enormous turkeys one year. The bell eventually tolled for them, and my mother and I were plucking them, up to our elbows in feathers. My little daughter had been playing with her cousins and wandered past. "Won't they be cold now?" she asked. Not where they're going, I thought to myself. I don't remember how I answered, only that I murmured something vague and reassuring. Ahh childhood, when the simple is complex, and the complex, simple.

bibbidee bobbidee boo

We were visiting at Grandma's house. My daughter, a tiny toddler, had finished her snack, and asked for more. "What's the magic word," my mother coaxed. My little girl hesitated and then brightened.
"Bibbidee bobbidee boo." she answered confidently.