happy new

Oh how I've missed my blog! Dare I in the spirit of newness determine to more frequently put words down that record bits and pieces of life as it rumbles by?
As it roars by.
As is spins me in circles?
It's not that I think of blogging as a diary.
Although, it can sort of work like one.
"Can it really be two years ago?" I will exclaim to myself on looking back at a story.
No, not a diary, but definitely a record of life in a way that I find so helpful.
It's helpful in the writing.
Helpful in allowing me to sometimes see more clearly.
I don't always even know what I'm feeling about something until I write it down.
Words on a page stare back at you and demand to be honest. It's why I sometimes write my prayers.
I've had a two steps forward, one step back sort of 2015.
And at times, one step forward, two steps back, or three, or four. A sort of snakes and ladders year.
Lots of snakes.
But some very amazing ladders too!
I always thought some magical mantle of maturity would fall from the sky when I hit a certain age. That I would feel calm and dignified in the face of personal failings. Or better yet, would be free at last from embarrassing blots on my daily record and would become a wise and winsome creature.
I consulted Wikipedia and this is how it defines maturity- maturity is the ability to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive. 
Hmmm, appropriate manner is so vague. That's good right?
And it's learned, not instinctive.That's hopeful too isn't it?
Maybe only insurance policies mature at a certain time.
Bet that's true.
Happy New.