Monday, May 5, 2014

serene note

I awoke to an off key kitchen. It actually looked much worse than it was. In fact, a few minutes last night would have taken care of it all, would have made my morning begin on a lovely serene note. Perhaps a middle C or something equally harmonious and mellow.
I have a feeling that my kitchen is a sort of primitive barometer.
I never really thought of it that way before.
The kitchen of my childhood was all clashing symbols and odd note combinations.
It was a tune that was hard to get out of my head.
As a young wife and mother, I came to realize that I craved an entirely different song.
I just wasn't sure how to play it.
I wasn't sure I had the discipline to learn it.
I felt at times like I was the only one it town who hadn't joined the orchestra.
It makes me think of a scene from the old movie, The Music Man.
The children take up instruments and just play them.
Badly at first, but no matter.
The joy was in the trying.
And there was no where to go but up.
Greatness hung in the balance.
It always does.

I have found that just 'doing' it is the answer.
It isn't about time or energy at all.
It is about self care.
Really it is.
At least for me.
And when I am ambivalent about my self, or slip out of tune it inevitably shows up in my kitchen.
I never realized that until this morning.
There are pressure systems that sweep over my soul.
But when the barometer shows a drop or spike, for whatever reason, I can choose to change how I see my place in the universe.
I can sing.
And singing while you do the dishes at night makes for beautiful morning music, note blending with note.

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