Wednesday, March 19, 2014

keep walking

If Spring Fever ever strikes you while you already have Cabin Fever, you may find yourself taking your frail, elderly mother to the movies.
You may find yourself including an elderly friend to round out the party.

If this ever happens to you, follow these important steps to ensure a successful time.

Look at the clock and count backward. Take the start time of the movie and divide it by the distance from the car multiplied by the time it takes to put on shoes and stock up on Kleenex and then leave a few minutes earlier to be on the safe side. Remember, rushing is not in the vocabulary of women who have passed their 89th birthdays.

Park at the theatre entry.

Walk into the theatre.
Keep walking.
And walking.

Make sure everyone is balanced and propped up adequately while you  pay for tickets.

Inquire needlessly about senior discounts.

Pay 15 dollars for the whole lot of you,
Remember that youthful clerks also work from a mathematical formula.
White hair times canes, divided by the likelihood of everyone living long enough to see the whole movie.

Head for theatre entry number nine.
Walk across lobby.
Keep walking.
And walking.

See movie name over door.
Saving Mr. Banks.

Sit in back row.

Watch movie trailers.
Watch movie trailers.
Tell ladies there are only a few more trailers left.
Watch movie trailers.
Assure ladies the movie won't be as loud.
Watch movie trailers.

Watch movie.
Enjoy movie but hope no one else is shocked, crushed or dismayed.
Note that your companions are stoic in the face of tragedy.
Note that your companions are watching with rapt attention.
Ponder last time mother has been to the theatre.
Consider the 1960's as a possibility but realize that the 1940's may be more accurate.

Sit through the ending of story.
Sit through credits.

Make your way to car.
Keep walking.
And walking.

Drive home older and wiser and amazingly relaxed.

1 comment:

Vonna said...

That was such and enjoyable post. I have elderly family and your description was such a welcoming description of a lovely memory made that day.

Thanks for sharing