Sunday, March 16, 2014

dizzying circle

At just past midnight last night, it occurred to me why Darth Vader never remarried.
That moment of clarity came as my husband slumbered on.
Snored on.
It also occurred to me that the person who falls asleep first wins.
It is a contest that I am destined to lose these days.
The cycle of life has swept we along in a dizzying circle and brought me back to my youthful beginnings as a married woman.
I didn't sleep well then either, not because of Darth, but because my ears were tuned to the slightest stirrings of my children.
To their faltering step, their coughs and squeaks.
I slept in fitful batches then and dreamed in fragments.
The days and years passed by.
My aged mother lives with us now.
She is caught in a cycle of her own.
She has become as vulnerable as a little child.
I lay awake and listen for her faltering step.
I sleep in fitful batches and dream in fragments.
And I listen grimly to Darth.
This morning,  tea in hand, my husband defended himself by reminding me that I too snore.
"I am woman, hear me roar," was my callous response.
Lack of sleep will do that.

No comments: