Sunday, December 5, 2010

suddenly awake

I once had a profound thought in the middle of the night, but by morning it had evaporated like mist.
Those fragments of time between sleep and wakefulness, when the mind is accessible by both memory and the moment, can yield surprising insights, or gibberish. Gibberish is the more likely default for me and I've laughingly recounted dreams and fragment thoughts alike to my patient husband.
Yesterday, a sinister virus laid me low, and I spent the morning and afternoon fitfully sleeping. As I rose and fell between wakefulness and slumber, I found myself remembering my father's death, and was trapped by thoughts whirling in a circle, ever sadder and darker. I knew I must somehow break free and in a moment, words came to me, scrolling across my mind like the news on CNN. "Man cannot thwart the purposes of God."
I was suddenly awake.

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